• Rankin le Roux

Your journey starts here

Updated: Apr 5, 2021

Decisions

You have either been through the whole immigration process, or are busy jumping through loops as we speak. Perhaps just starting your journey to find a new life in a new country. It does not matter which country that you identified as the ideal destination. Usually this decision is based on the advice from family, friends, ex-colleagues or Facebook pages. People who have made the journey already. It may be that you have visited the country in the past and liked it, most people you have never been in the country before making the decision. The fact of the matter is that you are ready to take the next step.


Emotions

The first thing that goes unnoticed or perhaps are deliberately ignored is the principle fact that no person is the same. No one thinks, reacts or perceive actions the same as another. Yes, I agree basic emotions are perceived in a similar fashion, but how do you measure if someone is happier than another, one may shriek and yell in joy and another may barely crack a smile when they are happy. Emotions plays one of the most important roles in the whole process. Emotion is certainly one of the main reasons you have made the decision. Fear is one of the emotions driving people down this road. A fear for your safety or a fear for your future may have forced you to start looking at alternatives. We can go through all the emotions and will find a trigger for an immigration decision in all of them. Perhaps a little more difficult to find examples for the so-called positive emotions, but perhaps that is a topic for a further article.


So the first mistake anyone makes is ignoring that emotions or believing and actually relying on other people's emotions. From the first conversation about immigration, may it be with your partner, family or friends and relatives, try and acknowledge the emotions. Your emotions when starting this journey may be different from your parents or friends that will be staying behind. Not only is it important to realise these emotion but to talk about it as often as possible. For years, perhaps a lifetime this was your base, your safe place, your term of reference. Us this to build your emotional road map. It is important to discuss this with your co-immigrants. Before even going on the journey acknowledge that there will be longing, sad goodbyes, tears, a limited amount of support, an unknown support system and a lot of anxiety. Decide if these emotion topple the emotions you feel about your current situation and if you will be able to conquer it. You do not need to eliminate emotions (we are not robots) but be aware of the fact that you will not escape it. (more on emotions in the "Research" article, coming soon)


Emotions brings questions. While researching forums and Facebook group comments I found that the underlying question that comes up more than any other is the search for emotional feedback. When starting the process, the initial few questions will always include something a request for emotions. "How did your kids adapt to Australian schools?" Is just such an example. Fear of the unknown manifested in such a question. The facts are irrelevant, even the stock answer "They will be fine, do not worry, children are more adaptable than adults..." does not relieve the underlying emotions of fear and anxiety. Emotions are personal and the question if your kids will adapt easily can only be answered by you and your kids once going through the experience. Yes, the answer you get from such a posting or such such a question does give you hope and build your confidence. The famous saying goes something like this " Do not try and change the things you have no control over." You will have no control over your emotions, they will be there and sometimes more extreme than other times. Just know that emotions will be there and that you will be able to handle it, then its time for the next step!


Please leave your comments or advice how you found the emotional journey especially at the start of the process.




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